On Being Forgetful

From childhood on, promises are so often unfulfilled that we lower our expectations to avoid disappointment.

Didn't we believe the school system would be boosted and improved by proceeds from new gambling casinos? Millions would pour in for our children's benefit. But education weakened.

We hear about new bridges. The tolls will pay the costs. The bridges are erected and paid for. The tolls continue.

And what do these statements have in common?

When I was seven or eight years of age, there was a limousine ride that I dreamed into a wonderful fairy tale. A relative living with us was being courted by a wealthy man who had hopes of marriage. To make points, I now imagine, he offered to take our family for a ride in the country.

We were years from owning a car of our own-our street had just been paved. This outing would be an event. It was a big limousine, but there wasn't room for me. I was left at home in the care of an older cousin. It was a terrible disappointment, but I was told there would be a ride for me later. I remember sitting on the back steps imagining what it would be like.

But my ride never came! I kept the letdown inside me all these years.

We begin as children, in babyhood even, to learn that words and promises are easy to bandy about. Careless use of language becomes habit. As we grow, we learn the correct words and their sentences and we put them together to please, to keep everyone happy. We talk, throw words around, make noise. Words are confused with deeds. Are consequences considered? How often is thinking part of it?

Riding to the Airport in a taxi on a bright Spring morning, a number of years ago, I listened to praise from the driver. "This town is one I like," he said. "Fresh air, clear sky, good breathing"

"I guess so," I agreed. I was more concerned with catching the flight ahead.

But he was talkative. "I moved here from San Francisco. Driving those canyons in the big city was more than I could take. You've got no high rises here."

"No," I said.

"Bad air in downtown Frisco. Congestion. Coughing all the time."

"You won't have to suffer here. The City Council, or City Planners, or somebody, told us they're going to limit the height of buildings here."

"Good idea! If they go up, I'm out of here."

I recalled that conversation when I recently read how proud we are with new plans for high rises.

I looked up "promise" in the dictionary and found, "1. A vow. An oral or written agreement to do, or not to do, something," and, "2. Basis for expectation."

Our promise-habits stay with us, from our learning years through school, into business and government which runs on promises. We've become so used to them we don't really mind when they are broken. Our expectations have become limited. Thus we avoid heavy disappointments.

Will there come a time when results are demanded and promises fulfilled? A certain number of them may stick in our minds. And what will happen then? Will there be a revolution?

Looking about for inspiration, I note my dog, Michael. He doesn't forget my promise for a walk in the sun with a cookie to follow and he rewards me with good behavior, love and affection.

ebr8809@aol.com